Letter from Camp: Lola F. Blumayan

Dear Mom and Dad,

It has been 5 long days since you dropped me off at Cousin Lucy's house for my "spa" trip. I though spas were supposed to be relaxing, with people waiting on you hand and foot. This place sucks. No one pays attention to me when I grumble and complain, and they don't find my farting nearly as entertaining as you do. And why is it that when I start barking at them at 4:45, they don't know to get off their fat asses and feed me?

They seem to think I am BFF's with Lucy, but she actually drives me up the wall. When she isn't sticking her nose up someone's ass, she's trying to bite my legs off. I would slap her if I could just get my balance.




But, the weekend wasn't a total loss. On Sunday morning we went to the Rose Bowl for the Wiggle Waggle Walk, sponsored by the Pasadena Humane Society. There were tons of dogs and people there, walking running and biking for a good cause. Apparently, dogs weren't allowed to run the 3.1 miles (and seriously, who would want to do that? it sounds exhausting...), so we all walked. We got lots of free snacks afterwards (oops, I wasn't supposed to tell you about that) and free bandanas. The walking was super, super hard but I did my best, you know, for the kids.




Hope you're having fun in Mexico. Oh, I hear its been raining a lot down there? Yeah, serves you right, assholes.

Love and Kisses,

Lola